Bananas Foster does more than Sing The Duff

First Bergman...

...and now Antonioni??!!  What have I done to deserve this? 

Many would argue that their time had passed but there is just simply something different about a person who is still living.  The road isn't over.  There's always the hope that something relevant is just around the corner.  In Bergman's case, I think he proved he was still vital with 2003's Saraband and even in ill health, Antonioni still delivered his cryptic mastery with his piece of 2004's Eros.

Many use the adjectives "Art House", "European" and "Avante Garde" as both a reason to see or avoid many a film and depending on your cinematic sensibilities, it would be wrong of me to judge you in that observance.  But in these two masters’ case, the only true adjective that can be used is "personal"; Personal films that didn't come off as indulgent on one end or airbrushed on the other or worse yet, silly. 

Since the dawn of film, it's hard to find features that fit all those qualities. In two days, we lost two of the best at expressing it.

Are Alien Robots into Threesomes?

If you are highly spoiler sensitive, don't read this until after you've seen Transformers.  This ain't gonna ruin anything for you though.

Close to the end of the arse numbingly long "Transformers", Sam and Mikaela make out on Sam's Corvette.  This would be all okay and good....IF SAM'S CORVETTE WASN'T A SENTIENT BEING!!!!  Does Bumblebee get off on this??!!!  This is highly disturbing to me.  How rude of them!  Poor Bumblebee doesn't have ANY access to Cybertronic Porn, or even craigslist.cybertron yet these two get their rocks off right on top of him.  Some friends! Though we did see Bumblebee give a human a Golden Shower.  Hmmmm.....

Stalk a Stalker

Whilst dwelling in the Land of Utard for my Mom's 60th bday, my Dad, LDM and Heff went to see Blades of Glory.  Now I knew I was gonna love the on screen antics of Ms. Amy Poehler and her Husband Will Arnett and they didst indeed deliver.  Yetm I did NOT know nor was I in ANY WAY prepared for Nick Swardson to be in the movie.  My obsession with Mr. Swardson started when Heff and I went to see The Benchwarmers after I was recovering from Shoulder Surgery and what says recover like a vicadin laced trip to the $1 movie to see a Rob Schneider movie!  I was expecting it to cause me to go into a coma or boredom but then Nick Swardson showed up as David Spade's Agoraphobic brother and I started laughing so hard that i had to take another pill and run to the bathroom. 

Then came little gems of hilarity in Grandma's Boy, Click, Reno 911 and Art School Confidential.  Each time not knowing he was going to be in them and each time me acting like he was the STAR of the movie.

So how fitting that he plays a stalker in Blades of Glory in his typical overwrought sensibility that makes me keel over with laughter and swoon at the same time.  I've decided I HAVE TO STALK HIM.  I've missed no less than 3 LA stand up gigs he's done but NO MORE!  I am on his trail. I don't care if I end up dead like David Letterman's crazy or in a Mental Institution like Jodie Foster's.  The hunt is on.

i KNOW, Already!

I really do love that all my friends know me so well, but NO I am NOT going to The Duff's CD release party at the Abbey next monday. Why?  WHY am i not going?  because i'll be OUT OF TOWN. and not only will i be out of town but in SALT LAKE SHITY, UTARD!  that's right! And no less that 5 people have put me on the guest list. 

 

 

 

i don't want to hear about it anymore!

 

 

 

Crying in My Pillow-

 

 

 

jason

You Might Have Drinking Problem When...

You hide from your friends when it's time to go home by sliding under the pool table at Fubar, falling asleep in the process and then text message your entire address book.

Vince Clarke-a-thon

Last night I was at Akbar, which can be very hit and miss on a Saturday night.  Well, last night I was THRILLED because they played A Little Respect, Don't Go and Just Can't Get Enough back to back to back.  I ran to the DJ and told him he made my night that he did a Vince Clarke triple play and he looked at me blank faced.  I then had to proceed to tell him that he had unwittingly played the band that Vince is currently in (Erasure), the band he was in before that (Yaz) and the first band he was in (Depeche Mode) all in a row.  He hadn't realized the genius he had performed.

The Dark Night: Year One

A year ago today I was hit by a car.  I didn't think it would hit me (no pun intended) that hard but I've found it difficult just to get out of bed.  My sister called me to see how i was doing, which really touched me.  My sister and I have had a pretty rough '06 (cancer and surgery for her, car accident and surgery for me).  When it comes to religion, sex and politics, my sister and I rarely can find common ground but at the day, I've never NOT known her.  She's been in my life since day one and I'd hate to ever lose that connection.  After talking heavy stuff with her I talked to my niece about the 2 B's in an 11 year old's life: Braces and Boys.  She's getting braces in a month and she's nervous.  I told her at least she's getting them before middle school!  I never had to get them but I can understand the nervousness.

I am grateful that a year later, I'm no longer waking up every six hours to take a painkiller, that I can raise my right arm above my head (still working on behind my back but i'll get there!) and that you know I'm not...dead.

I've been in denial about being shaken up by D Day and I went ahead and made plans with Mark to go to Joy's going away party.  I keep telling myself I'm gonna cancel but Mark just called to ask if we're still on and I said yes.  I better get dressed, huh?

Territorial Pissings

So last Tuesday night I was casually making my way to Fubes when I get a text from Jimmy Pop that says "get here NOW".  Now of course I love Jimmy Pop to death and would normally take this text as something incredibly important, you know like world peace... or $3 Long Islands but because I had just gotten back from a week of bliss in NYC, I was pretty blasé and assumed that poor Jimmy was there alone and was just making sure I'd be there soon enough so he didn't get stuck sharing a drink with the Itranian and William the Stalker (Lord knows I’VE been in that situation). So I lazily write back while I'm at the light at Fountain and La Brea "I'm getting there, I'm getting there" and then turn up the radio.  Well then I get ANOTHER text message from him that says "someone is singing Wake Up"  Needless to say I ran the light and sped like a Mo Fo on fire to Fubar while also calling Jimmy Pop which is NOT easy to do with a stick shift at 90 MPH.

So I run into Fubar and not only is the guy no longer on stage...he's left the bar.  All eyes were on me waiting for me to combust.  I got a "he wasn't HALF as good as you" shout out and a couple of sympathy pats on the back.

Well, I gave my Beat of My Heart disc to the KJ and of course got the crowd boppin' but the damage had been done.  I proceeded to be a royal blue the whole night, lookin' to smack anybody that mentioned “The Upstarter”. 

The worst part is that whenever I asked how this was ALLOWED to happen, all i got was "well he was hot and had a french accent". *&%#

Then I found out that he had been there the Tuesday BEFORE as well! 

Who is this allegedly Hunky Frog????? Is he gonna show up on Mondays???!!  IS NOTHING SACRED???  This got me thinking.  Why was I so upset?  The crowd obviously KNOWS whose song it belongs to and by all records, the guy was crap. Deep down inside I know what my problem is: I can shake it, shake it, shake it with the best of 'em but I ain't French, and I ain't hawwwt.

I 'm going tonight somewhat sure that the Faux Foster will not be there.  But if you're looking for a bloody smackdown, be there Tuesday!

Just So You All Know

Just So you All Know

I've just spent almost two weeks with my mother. I don't want food, i don't want to hear about food. Food is my enemy. I think I grew a new stomach I ate so much. This is not a New Year's resolution. I just don't want to eat...ever....again.

My Friend is Up for On The Lot!

Dear Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend my friend Your Vote!-

My friend Michael is being seriously considered for Spielberg's new Reality Series "On The Lot"!

As many of you know from home screenings, trips to film fests, myspace/friendster you tube comments, invites to live shows, t-shirts, etc. that Little David and I are fans of "Pretty Thingsss" created by Michael Lucid and Amanda Barret (of The Ditty Bops fame) www.prettythingsss.com.  Popcorn is a great representation of the show and its pop culture skewing. The bizarro acting and antics are fantastic, especially on its less than a penny "budget"

We were surfing channels one day and and as fate would have it, we stopped on LA's Cable Access channel smack dab in the middle of Pretty Thingsss during a sketch called "Popcorn" where the oh so spot on art house employees (all played by Michael and Amanda) sell tickets to movie-goers going to see such fare as "The Duchess' Picnic" and Ivan's Wheelbarrow"  needless to say, we were hooked and proceeded to tape every episode.

Now, WE CAN HELP MAKE POPCORN FAMOUS!  Simply follow the link from Michael's original e-mail below, log in to On the Lot and rate the clip! http://films.thelot.com/films/1515

You can also help promote by

A) Forwarding this e-mail

B) Adding Pretty Thingss to your Myspace and Friendster lists (I will have it as my top friend on my Myspace through the holidays so it is easy to locate).

C) Go to you tube and add popcorn to your profiles (like i did!) and leave youtube clips in peeps' comments (thus is a great one http://youtube.com/watch?v=mO9iQ-zOwqA).  It will both confound, puzzle AND brighten your friends and family's day!

D) Blog about it.

E) add links to www.prettythingsss.com to your e-mails!

But the most important thing to do is to RATE THE CLIP ON THE "ON THE LOT" WEBSITE! http://films.thelot.com/films/1515

Thank You All-

Jason, Bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

hey guys --

here's the scoop --

i'm trying out to be on Fox's upcoming new reality
show about filmmakers, called "On The Lot" -- it's
gonna be like American Idol but for filmmakers.

right now you can see my submission "Popcorn"on their
"On The Lot" website.

here's where i need your help --

you can vote on my submission, and comment on it!

let's get me on that reality contest show!! wouldn't
that be crayzay???

here's how to see my submission:

http://films.thelot.com/films/1515

it's a compilation of moments from last season and the
current season of our "Popcorn" series.

i ask all you, my myspace friends, to watch and vote!!

thanx my friendzzz --- i'm gonna get a little hardcore
about promoting this thang in the upcoming months. i'm
gonna do my own lil' campaign to get on this contest.
and all the warm support from you that you can muster
will be BRILLIANT!

thanks everybody --- <3 *** michael